PHINES FAMILY UPDATE
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with 3 rugrats, an army guy and me...

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July 14, 2008

Army Wives And Laughter

http://mytwoarmybrats.blogspot.com/ Please read her 100th post!!!

How is it that while a wife is missing her husband, if it is even for ticks, someone can say something so rude and hurtful? People just dont seem to understand that while their lives moved on everyday, pushing forward to something new, but with the security of their loved ones by their sides, so do ours when our loved ones are away. Ours, a lot of times, have to move forward without our best friends at our sides. They move forward with new babies born without daddies there (sometimes on the phone or webcam), steps taken without those proud eyes shining on them, and first words are said but not heard because on the other side of the world or in the midst of an oh so important field problem, is someone who loves them more than anything, but can't be there to witness those things.

When something good happens, I want to call Josh. When something scary happens, I want Josh. When something sad happens, I just want Josh to hold me. Remember most of us when we are sad want our husbands, but in the case of a deployment our husbands being absent is what makes us sad. We are reminded of that when we do a load of laundry and a child has worn his shirt to bed. We are reminded when we see ticks, flies, cockroaches, bees anything we dont usually deal with. We are reminded everytime we open our eyes and everytime we close our eyes. For me everytime I looked at my oldest, I saw Josh. We can not let our sadness overcome us. It does no good to anyone involved. We have to be happy and make life enjoyable for those around us, especially the kids. The kids are sad and hurt enough without seeing Mommy cry all the time. The ones left at home have to put on the "Big Girl Panties" and suck it up, drink water, and march on. How someone can say, without knowing you, that you don't love your husband beyond all things is crazy. Most of us sit here and wait for those phone calls, those "DING DONGS" online, or a little voice saying "MOMMY DADDY IS ONLINE HURRY UP!!!"

What are we supposed to do when they aren't there??? We find other outlets. Outlets that include a whole lot of silliness and craziness and fun and comraderie with friends who are there with you in this crazy life.

While our husbands go off and do their jobs, we have a job to do too. That job is a job that no one understands unless you have lived and breathed it. To take care of a husband 1000s of miles away is a challenge like one I have never experienced before that. Even as they are 1000s of miles away, we do our best to console them when things happen, we do our best to make sure they don't get sick, we do our best to send loving letters/emails as often as possible without getting anything in return, and we do our best to make sure their every need is met. To console a little breaking heart as they miss their daddy is a never ending job. To console a little breaking heart as they realize one of their "Uncles" will never come home is not fun. To make life as remarkable and make as many happy memories for your entire family while seperated...husband, kids, and yourself is an everyday job. Then on top of it all, you have to make sure to take care of yourself. For all of you who really don't think that millitary wives love their husbands when they are gone because they are joking about life experiences that are happening in the present time...ask to borrow a pair of their shoes. I am sure they would be more than happy to lend you a pair for a week. Then maybe your heart will have a different perspective on what it really entails to be a military wife. Hopefully you will be a little less quick to judge the laughter that hides the tears.





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4 comments:

My boys are Army Brats said...

Well said!

Thanks for your support! And I promise we're doing just fine here and we weren't you'd be hearing from me!

You're a great friend and I'm so glad to have you on my side at times like this!

Now I want you to design a capsule we can climb in and sleep until it's time for the deployment to end. Let me know when you get that finished okay?

SgtSudsWife said...

Hello.I found your blog on my boys are army brats.She is a good friend of mine and I just want to say that your post on this is GREAT!

I was in shock when she told me about this anonymous person last night.I just couldn't believe it.I hope they come back to visit her 100th blog and realize how ignorant they were.I also hope they come across your blog because everything you said was exactly right.Last night I was trying to think of something to say in a post for her.I was so mad that I couldn't put anything in a post.Thank you so much!You are one Army wife we all need on our side!

SgtSudsWife said...

Hi Amy!

Thanks for commenting on my blog.I didn't realize you were Michelles friend Amy LOL.Nice to meet ya.Michelle is lucky to have a friend like you that has stayed in touch with her for so long.It is hard to keep friends in this life.

Brandy said...

AMEN You said it perfectly!

I have been one of those wives who have given birth while thier husbands were deployed and I did it another country with out the support of my family just my Army family.
When 9-11 happened hubby was deployed I was sooo scared and I had to find a way to comfort 3 small children who afriad they were going to fly a plane into us next all the while worring about the same thing.
No one but another military wife knows what these things are like.

Besides like Michelle said our hubbies dont want to be reminded of how sad we are with out them at home.

I believe the toughest job in the Army is being the one left behind to clean up and take care of all lifes happenings.